I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
