she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He did a backflip because drugs
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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