Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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