I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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