Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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