She's JV to your varsity
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
