Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
false alarm, still single
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