hell yes lets make some ravioli
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
