I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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