I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
