Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
