Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
