going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
