Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
