My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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