Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
