I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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