hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
