He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
