I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My ass is underappreciated
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
