well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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