I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
