This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
