Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
