I bet he comes in French.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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