Screwed.edu
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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