Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
