i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
