But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
