there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
