So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
