we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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