I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
