There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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