We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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