and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
