respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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