if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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