Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
