Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
