I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
