marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
