Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
