In the future we'll all be gay
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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