apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
