if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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