She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
