I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
