he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
