I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize