dude i'm inner monologue high
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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