can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
